Just some thoughts...

I took this picture at the park last Sunday on my phone.
I was surprised how cool it turned out.

I am copying Angie B's last post format from her blog because it was just a lot of things that had been going through her head. It could be a long time before a new post if I keep waiting for my thoughts to coalesce into something thought provoking and "meaningful" (I put it in quotes because it's sorta tongue-in-cheek). So here are the things that have been swirling around my noggin or that I have been meaning to say.

~Becky & Ang - My friend Amy (hi amy) went to a writing workshop at RDC. She even had Jonatha Brooke as a roommate there (if you have never heard of her, go here now to listen to music you're guaranteed to love). Interestingly enough, a former boss and one of Mike's coworkers grew up in the Squam Lake area, too.

~Mary - I was IM'ing with a new Facebook friend the other day and he asked if I ever kept in touch with Mary from JB's. I don't know if you remember him, his name was Dave Matthews (also happens to be Amy's stepbrother). He said he used to come in and flirt with us (I'd say more for you). Who knew back then that we'd still be in touch now?

~ There's a new post on the Piper blog, but be forewarned - you may not enjoy one of the stories. All just depends on whether you have a twisted sense of humor or not.

~ In light of the economy and all of the crap you hear on the news, I have become more greatful of our situation. I am thankful for the fact that we can afford for me to stay at home. I am thankful for my husband's job with the federal government because he won't be laid off. I am thankful for the fact that we have been relatively unaffected by the crap you hear on the news. It is comforting knowing that I live in a state that won't be experiencing a serious budget deficit this year (there are only 4 that won't). We are starting the process of refinancing our mortgage. I am extremely thankful that home values haven't really dropped here. In fact, the 5 major metro (LOL) areas in Montana are in the top 25 places in the country were real estate values will actually increase this year.

~ I am loving the DIY channel. It's giving me a lot of inspiration and ideas of things to do with our house in the future. Our house is almost 15 years old, which happens to be the time when things started looking a little dated or just worn out. I would LOVE to know how to do the work AND have all of the necessary tools to do things around the house. First project will be tiling the downstairs project just as soon as we get our tax return back (I guess I should get on the filing part of that).

~ I think Facebook is consuming the time I was once using to write in my blog. It's just too easy to check out what is new when my laptop sits on the kitchen counter all day. It has been interesting, though, seeing little issues get stirred up with the memories of some of these people. It gives me a good chance to re-examine those emotions from a "grown-up" perspective and then let them go.

I have had 2 people from my past tell me that they didn't like me much was I was preteen-teenage because they were jealous of me. This was not revealed to me recently or even through Facebook, just random conversations. I was insecure enough then that I never would have never imagined someone being jealous of me. Even now in life, I have had people (as recently as yesterday) tell me how confident and sure of myself they think I am. Really??? Wow, I must be pretty good at fooling people then.

Women have the tendency to think that other women have it more together than they do. We lift others up, while pushing ourselves down. Truth is we all have our own issues. Since others seem to see me as something more than I see myself, maybe I need to try to see the truth in what they see. Maybe I can forgive someone's negative words or actions against me because they were only acting out of their own insecurity. I know that place of feeling and would never want someone to be there. Maybe people I see as really confident or really together, are really just over-compensating for the disaster that is their life. Maybe the Mean Girls, of both past and present and dare I say future, are really just insecure themselves and being mean is how they make themselves feel better - by making someone else feel the pain that they feel.

I may never know if this was the motivation behind all of those that have been less than nice to me in my life, but it is a nicer, gentler, more forgiving perspective to look at things though. So if this is my own delusion, I choose to be delusional.