Lessons Learned

This post says it was published on the 2nd, but it's really happening on the 8th. I had all kinds of ideas for a New Year's post, but life got in the way. First it was having my sister, her husband, and her 2 basset hounds here for a few days (Piper already thought she was a dog, having 2 more here only made it worse). That was followed by a couple of long days of work (made $600 thanks to John and Tom for going on vacation). Anyhow, her I am more than a week in and still no post.

I still wanted to record a few thoughts on lessons I learned in 2008. So here goes...

Friendships
I've learned that I don't have much time to maintain friendships so the ones that I do must be worth my time. In this I mean, I get as much out of the friendship as I give. I don't have time to settle. It doesn't mean I'm not "friendly" with people, I just don't invest time in them if they aren't willing to at least try to do the same. Maybe it's just me, maybe they're just not that into me (LOL), it doesn't matter. I have become comfortable enough with myself to accept that. I have also learned to love myself enough to stop something if it leaves me feeling a bit empty. It's kinda like giving up on that guy who's just not that into you. I don't think that it is too high of a standard to hold someone to.

Forgiveness
I have found (at least for me) is about becoming neutral. I don't have to love the person, I just need to be neutral. You know you are there when you can think about the person and those tight, not so pretty feelings are no longer evoked. Neutrality means you don't have to forget, you just have to let go. It also means you can become neutral with people you can't help but have in your life. You can't change your family, but you can change how you react to them. I guess you could call that future forgiveness.

Birth Control
It took over my mind and body there for a while. It felt so good being able to blame my crazy emotions on something outside of myself. That hormone trip was a trip I'd rather not taken, but the contrast has certainly helped me see some things differently so I will give it that. I think my body is finally back to normal now.

Being More Comfortable with Myself
It seems like this has been an ongoing challenge, but it is nice to look back and see improvement. A recent experience helped me realize this. I have started taking Piper to a playgroup once a week and I have quickly found how I don't really fit in with the majority of the moms. In fact, some are just downright annoying (a certain mom that is teaching her child Chinese comes to mind). A former version of me would have still tried to be part of the group of moms that are very friendly with one another. The current version of me recognizes that these are not people I would really want to be friends with so why should I feel left out because I don't seem to fit in with this group. It's not like I am the only mom who doesn't go for the socializing, but a former self would have felt left out even though deep down she knew it wasn't a fit. I am now comfortable with myself to not care about that. That might not be the right way to articulate that, but it will do.

I Trust Myself More
It just may have something to do with the fact that I have been taking a clairvoyant training class, but I am trusting my inner voice more now. I haven't talked about my classes because the idea of it seems so out there yet there really isn't anything special to it. A very simplified explanation of it would be guided meditation while being just as lucid as you would be any other waking moment. Another thing I have loved about the class is that the purpose of the class is sefl growth. In fact, my teacher told us to prepare to be growth junkies. Between basic meditations and doing readings on people, you can achieve personal growth. With all that said, it's nice to believe that voice inside your head knows what it's talking about - you just have to know how to listen.

While glancing over these items they may seem small. Yet they really are life-altering, albeit in small and subtle ways. Here's to 2008. May 2009 be even better.