They seem to be mutually exclusive.
I have never been a good liar. In fact, I am almost honest to a fault and often say things to people that don't subscribe to the same kind of honesty I do. I would rather know the truth than have something sugar-coated only to bite me on the rear end later. I also find it very insulting when someone lies when there are ways to easily find out if something is true or not.
A lot of the drama in Mike's family comes from people telling half-truths or total lies depending on the person they are talking to. My mother-in-law recently lied to us to justify a situation. She told us the same story at least a half dozen times to justify herself only to find out in casual conversation with Mike's brother that her story wasn't nearly the whole story. Mike wasn't surprised because there is a long history of this. I had heard stories from Mike, but to experience it first-hand was good for me to see. I now really know why Mike has the relationship he does (or lack thereof) with his mom.
I didn't mean to drag that drama into this post, but it seem to parallel with the irritation I am feeling over politics. I read a lot of news online and it's amazing the lies and half-truths that are being spoken by both candidates. Maybe this is business as usual, but I am new to being politically aware so maybe I am just a little more sensitive about it. I really find it insulting to the intelligence of the American people, but maybe I am overestimating that intelligence.
The day after the debates I read an article that compared what Obama and McCain said with what actually is. Neither of them outright lied, but they more or less did by omission. Partial aspects of many different things were used against the other to make their point. If the whole story had been presented, they would not have been able to get their dig in on their opponent.
Then there's the McCain ad against Obama talking about his ties to a shady Freddie Mac exec. The man doesn't even work for Obama, but the ad leads you to believe he does. Yet one of McCain's main advisors received a $20 million golden parachute when the company she was CEO of failed and 20,000 people lost their jobs. When McCain was asked about it on the Today show, he said he really didn't know the details and that she had worked her way up to CEO from a secretary position, really almost justifying the situation. Seems quite hypocrital to me to criticize someone for the appearance of something bad when you are actually guilty of it yourself.
Recently I found out that both Biden and Obama voted for the Bridge to Nowhere, but all we hear about is Palins involvement with it. McCain didn't vote for it because he just didn't vote.
Then there was Palin's recent comment to someone on the street while she was waiting in line for a piece of pizza. She clearly said that the U.S. should launch cross-border attacks from Afghanistan into Pakistan to "stop the terrorists from coming any further in." McCain had already criticized Obama for having that same opinion. To save face, McCain went on the final interview segment of Palin with Katie Couric to expalin (unintentional typo but I am seeing humor in it) what she meant because McCain clearly knows more about what she meant than Palin does herself. He tried to blame it on the media calling it "gotcha journalism". It was just someone on the street afterall. Couric managed to point out that that man on the street is still a voter. Yet, on the very same day they are blaming this on the media, Palin criticized Biden for saying Obama was against clean coal (he's not) when the question was shouted to him from someone in a crowd. Can you say double standard?
Unfortunately, there are a lot of people that base their votes on the misleading sound bites and the infinite number of talking heads spinning their spin that you find on all of the news channels. Not everyone has the time to read the news online like I do. I actually don't know if it is helping me much when it comes down to it anyway. I may just end up voting with my gut. As of right now, I am still undecided.
I'm less crazy than I thought
I just got off of the phone with my Dr's nurse and I am feeling much better about things. I have been on the same birth control for over 5 years. After we moved to Montana, I started taking the generic equivalent with no problems. I switched pharmacies earlier this year because the pharmacist at Albertson's left and the replacement was really slow. I'd have to wait 15 minutes sometimes to get a refill that was called in the day before. It's also birth control so it's not like they have to physically count the pills. I filled my prescription once at WalMart because I thought it might qualify as one of their $4 generic prescriptions. They gave me a different generic than I had been taking, but it didn't cross my mind that it would affect me at all.First month on it, I noticed PMS and associated zits that I had not had in YEARS. I thought it might be the pills, but it could have just been a weird month. I then took my prescription to the other grocery store in Belgrade because it was easier to have my scrip there as opposed to 10 minutes away in Bozeman. IGA also gave me the same generic as WalMart but I decided to give it another try. Same PMS thing happened. By this time Albertson's was undergoing a renovation so it was more of a pain to get a refill there so I kept going to IGA. My symptoms continued over the summer, but it wasn't anything I couldn't really deal with. Maybe my body changed. I didn't really think a change from one generic to another would make that big of a difference.
This last week was the last week of my pill packet and BOY did PMS rear it's ugly head yet again. In addition to PMS, I haven't had a sex drive in quite some time. Nothing. As in could care less if it happens again nothing. I have been blaming it on the way I feel about my body because I have gained a lot of weight. I have also thought that maybe I get a lot of my physical contact that a woman needs in holding Piper, but I don't even really want to be touched either. Snuggling does nothing for me. Mike has been so good about not making me feel guilty, but I do a pretty good job making myself feel bad as it is.
I was actually thinking about going off of the pill for a while because it's not like a need it at this point. Why take birth control if you aren't having sex? I supposedly have endometriosis so the pill is supposed to be for more than birth control, but the only reason I even know I have endometriosis is because the doctor saw it when I had my c-section. I haven't had cramps or anything in years so what did I have to lose in going off of the pill.
Recently, it dawned on me that just maybe my PMS issues and my lack of a sex drive and possibly some of my emotional issues I have had this summer might be related to this brand of the generic I was on. So today I finally called my doctor. After explaining my symptoms, the nurse asked my if I was on Tri-Sprintec because many other women have been having the exact same problems I was describing.
You mean it's not just me? You mean I might be able to just take a different pill and feel "normal" again? You mean I might actually want to snuggle up and maybe even make love to my husband again? Words cannot describe the relief I am feeling. I really am less crazy than I thought.
Motivation (rather lack thereof)
I have so many things to do. So many are just things that need to get done like household chores. Others are actually not so bad to-do's, things like getting back to my jewelry taking pictures of me huge jewelry inventory to finally put on Etsy. Reading a book is also one of me to-do's, but that one hasn't been checked off my list for a couple of weeks now. Yet all I want to do is sit on the couch or take a nap. I am stuck between have no motivation to do anything and the guilt of not having done a thing. This feeling is only accentuated today by the fact that Piper had me up twice last night. She fell back to sleep soon after, but it still disrupted my sleep. This mama doesn't do well without sleep and I was trying to make up for the measly 3 hours I had the night before because I was trying to talk Mike's mom down off the proverbial ledge after she picked a huge fight with him (and nothing is ever HER fault) - but that's a whole 'nother story. We had family here 8 out of the last 11 days. Fortunately it wasn't consecutive, but it has only added to my to-do's in more ways than one.
I have so many things I either need to do or want to do and I am so behind I feel like I don't know where to start. So I don't, but that doesn't leave me feeling good either. I want out of this motivation funk. I want to not waste so much time. I want to feel productive. People can excuse me all they want telling me "well, you are busy enough because you have a toddler". Not so. It's a good exuse, but only I know the real truth. Only I know how much time I waste watching TV, reading my email, blogging, and catching up on my Hollywood gossip with Perez.
Yet here I am still at the 'puter and about to pour myself a cup of coffee, put Pip down for the morning nap and plant my butt down on the couch to watch Young & the Restless (another guilty pleasure). The sweeping an dvaccuming aren't going anwhere and the potentially frostbitten garden can wait until later to be inspected (thank you last night's storm for blowing the cover off of my tomatoes). I suppose it will all get done eventually, but we never really get it done - do we?
I have so many things I either need to do or want to do and I am so behind I feel like I don't know where to start. So I don't, but that doesn't leave me feeling good either. I want out of this motivation funk. I want to not waste so much time. I want to feel productive. People can excuse me all they want telling me "well, you are busy enough because you have a toddler". Not so. It's a good exuse, but only I know the real truth. Only I know how much time I waste watching TV, reading my email, blogging, and catching up on my Hollywood gossip with Perez.
Yet here I am still at the 'puter and about to pour myself a cup of coffee, put Pip down for the morning nap and plant my butt down on the couch to watch Young & the Restless (another guilty pleasure). The sweeping an dvaccuming aren't going anwhere and the potentially frostbitten garden can wait until later to be inspected (thank you last night's storm for blowing the cover off of my tomatoes). I suppose it will all get done eventually, but we never really get it done - do we?
Someone get me a tranquility barrier
I came across this old ad recently and it really cracked me up. Click on it to open up a larger version so you can actually read it. I now tell Mike I need a tranquility barrier when I am starting to get irritated. Asking someone for one is actually not too bad of a way to remind yourself to lighten up.
Too lazy to write much now...
so I am just copying some good quotes from a newsletter I am subscribed to and just read today. I also love it when I come across a good quote, especially when the message isn't necessarily new but for some reason it resonates with you more and you are finally "getting it". Enjoy.
"When you release your desire for something, your unhappiness goes. When you release the concern about what somebody else thinks about something, your concern about it goes.
As you realize that you can't handle other people's lives, your worry about them goes.
And when you realize that you can handle your life, your happiness increases."
-- John-Roger
It's surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you're not comfortable within yourself, you can't be comfortable with others.
-- Sydney J. Harris
'Self-Love is our deep personal conviction that, when the music stops, we're absolutely okay. Self-love enables us to take for granted that we're essentially lovable and worthwhile - in and of ourselves and regardless of whatever roles, titles, successes we may (or may not) enjoy. High self-love leads us to trust our feelings and intuition automatically. Because it reinforces our sense of personal rights, it helps us say no, set limits, stick up for ourselves, and keep ourselves safe both physically and emotionally as a natural response to any kind of threat. Self- love lends us much more than the power to care for ourselves as individuals in every way that we can conceive; it empowers us to thrive. It leads us to our mission in life and enables us to experience true emotional intimacy with another." _The New Couple_ by Maurice Taylor and Seana McGee)
Ultimately, what we are looking to is the deepest connection within ourselves. As we get more connected to that, we begin to feel in harmony with other people and with the rest of the world.
-- Shakti Gawain
"When you release your desire for something, your unhappiness goes. When you release the concern about what somebody else thinks about something, your concern about it goes.
As you realize that you can't handle other people's lives, your worry about them goes.
And when you realize that you can handle your life, your happiness increases."
-- John-Roger
It's surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you're not comfortable within yourself, you can't be comfortable with others.
-- Sydney J. Harris
'Self-Love is our deep personal conviction that, when the music stops, we're absolutely okay. Self-love enables us to take for granted that we're essentially lovable and worthwhile - in and of ourselves and regardless of whatever roles, titles, successes we may (or may not) enjoy. High self-love leads us to trust our feelings and intuition automatically. Because it reinforces our sense of personal rights, it helps us say no, set limits, stick up for ourselves, and keep ourselves safe both physically and emotionally as a natural response to any kind of threat. Self- love lends us much more than the power to care for ourselves as individuals in every way that we can conceive; it empowers us to thrive. It leads us to our mission in life and enables us to experience true emotional intimacy with another." _The New Couple_ by Maurice Taylor and Seana McGee)
Ultimately, what we are looking to is the deepest connection within ourselves. As we get more connected to that, we begin to feel in harmony with other people and with the rest of the world.
-- Shakti Gawain
Sending them my positive thoughts....
I have been reading the archives of Stephanie Nielson since hearing about her on the Today show. I found myself being jealous of her in a way. She's so creative, a seemingly perfect mother, such a nice and genuine person. She seemed to have it all in a way. Then I remembered she is lying in a hospital bed and so is her husband. I doubt the doctors even know if they will live or not. They seem to be doing fine now, but it's always iffy for quite a while for sever burn victims. It's hard to understand how something like this can happen to anyone. In addition to this, the husband lost his sister about 5 years ago and left a 2 month old baby behind. How much can a family go through?
One example of how great of a person Stephanie is can be found here:
http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/2008_03_01_archive.html
Stephanie and a friend with all of their kids wrote happy fortunes on pieces of paper and hid them around town for people to find.
Stephanie's sister has taken in her 4 kids and has a newborn baby herself. I can't imagine having 4 kids of my own, let alone taking care of someone else's 4 kids in addition to my own. Another fine, strong woman to admire. Her blog is here: http://blog.cjanerun.com/
She is continuing to provide updates of her sister and brother-in-law's progress.
It's hard to understand how something like this can happen to anyone, but this seems to have happened to people that are handling themselves extraordinarily considering the circumstances.
One example of how great of a person Stephanie is can be found here:
http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/2008_03_01_archive.html
Stephanie and a friend with all of their kids wrote happy fortunes on pieces of paper and hid them around town for people to find.
Stephanie's sister has taken in her 4 kids and has a newborn baby herself. I can't imagine having 4 kids of my own, let alone taking care of someone else's 4 kids in addition to my own. Another fine, strong woman to admire. Her blog is here: http://blog.cjanerun.com/
She is continuing to provide updates of her sister and brother-in-law's progress.
It's hard to understand how something like this can happen to anyone, but this seems to have happened to people that are handling themselves extraordinarily considering the circumstances.
On a lighter note...
At least he respected his mom's wishes...
FOND DU LAC, Wis. - A 54-year-old man says his obsessive-compulsive disorder drove him to eat 23,000 Big Macs in 36 years.
Fifty-four-year-old Don Gorske says he hit the milestone last month, continuing a pleasurable obsession that began May 17, 1972 when he got his first car.
Gorske has kept every burger receipt in a box. He says he was always fascinated with numbers, and watching McDonald's track its number of customers motivated him to track his own consumption.
The only day he skipped a Big Mac was the day his mother died, to respect her request.
The correctional-institution employee says he doesn't care when people call his Big Mac obsession crazy. He says he's in love with the burgers, which are the highlights of his days.
___
NieNie Dialogues
I just heard about this woman on the Today Show. She is originally from Provo. She's evidently been blogging for a couple of years now and has 1000s of people that read her blog. The blog is all about her family. The reason she made the news is that Stephanie and her husband were in a plane crash last month and she was burned over 83% of her body. Both of them are still in critical condition.
There is a fundraiser for the family and one of her sisters started a blog to post updates because the outpouring of support and inquiries about their condition became overwhelming. Go here to read more about Stephanie: http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com
There is a fundraiser for the family and one of her sisters started a blog to post updates because the outpouring of support and inquiries about their condition became overwhelming. Go here to read more about Stephanie: http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com
New Layout, Again
I liked my last layout, but it bugged me that my widgets on the side didn't fit in the allotted area. I am so picky when it comes to something like this, but I think I found a good one.
I like this background because I love how intoxicatingly blue a cloudless sky can be. I also like the dandelion for a couple of reasons. First, it represents overlooked beauty. Even though it is a noxious weed, it still has a beauty of it's own - even as it dies. I also like how the seeded dandelion head reminds me of blowing them as a kid. It is still fun to do even now.
I like this background because I love how intoxicatingly blue a cloudless sky can be. I also like the dandelion for a couple of reasons. First, it represents overlooked beauty. Even though it is a noxious weed, it still has a beauty of it's own - even as it dies. I also like how the seeded dandelion head reminds me of blowing them as a kid. It is still fun to do even now.
